Thursday Thirteen, bottom of the bucket

Well hi there.  How’s it hanging? Or should I say How’re they hanging?

My date to the prom in, OMG 1988!, used to respond to that question (and for whatever reason, EVERYONE was asking) with “Long and limp.” 

Nope, never confirmed, thank you.

If you don’t like limp dick jokes, um, okay.  I can’t promise I won’t flop one on ya from time to time but it isn’t a usual practice of mine.

Oh I should work on that, should I?  The limp part or the joke part?  heh.

I know, I know, I’m just putting of the inevitable, the damn list.  You’re expecting something amazing for the top 13 ain’tcha?  Well I’ll tell you if you’re doing a quick skim thru (Adonis?)…Anal sex is NOT on it.   Nope.  And nope, I ain’t got a funny to go with that.  Just stating the facts, ma’am.

Where was I?

13.  Grow a sustainable garden.  Preferable with good drainage and sprinklers.

12.  Volunteer at a animal shelter.

11.  Own a second home on a tropical island.

10. Eat more chicken. Okay, I’m kidding. Eat the local food of all the countries I plan to visit. (Sort of a rule of mine, no chain restaurants while on Vacay!)  Oh hell, while I’m at it, learn to cook it all too!

9.  Sleep with, okay, MEET Dave Matthews.  I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that before.  I’ve seen him in concert and own all but one of his albums.  His music, voice, words, they all move me.  And I don’t care if he’s passe or unfashionable.  And no, I won’t settle for his incredibly talented band members.  Sure they’re cool but I got my eye on the white guy.

8.  Train to be a school teacher.  This one is tricky since I really enjoy my current job but there will come a time when I’m going to need a serious change.

7.  Have a second child.  Yeah, I know again, strange for a bucket list but if I don’t say this somewhere publicly, I may never say it again or do what it takes to make it happen.  Adoption is an option.

6.  Build up 6 months worth of income/savings….just in case.

5.  Hike with my mom and daughter in the Smoky Mountains, as I did with my grandmother.

4.  Be a foster parent.

3.  Love more.  (and when I say love, I mean every conceivable definition.  Have they invented the female Viagra yet?  Oops, did I let the cat out of the bag?  Yeah, so I have libido issues.  Let talk about it some other time, okay?)

2.  Write an obituary of someone I love.

1.  Leave a legacy to be proud of.  (and stop ending sentences with propositions.)

So come on, there is plenty of room.  Share, tell us all whats in your top ten to do before you kick the bucket?  While we may giggle and snort to ourselves, we’re all here for the support (and free support hose…who’s got a giveaway?)

7 Responses to Thursday Thirteen, bottom of the bucket
  1. Sara
    July 29, 2010 | 10:25 am

    The one thing I can really think of is to visit Auschwitz before I die. World War 2 era things really interest me, and I'm kind of a history nerd.

  2. magnolia
    July 29, 2010 | 10:51 am

    hmm… i want to take one trip in my life anthony bourdain-style: nice accommodations, local tour guide and amazing food. that would be fabulous.

  3. Blissed-Out Grandma
    July 29, 2010 | 12:18 pm

    Learn to play blues piano.

  4. Mandy
    July 29, 2010 | 3:57 pm

    Go to Italy. Finish a manuscript. Take dancing lessons. Live in another city.

  5. Eva Gallant
    July 30, 2010 | 2:24 am

    Get something published.

  6. Anonymous
    August 8, 2010 | 8:46 pm

    If you get Dave Matthews in the sack, give me a call so I can come over and we can "share" him.

  7. A must do. | A Diary of a Mad Woman
    January 8, 2011 | 9:02 pm

    [...] to keep my eyes open so I’m mailing this one in.  In July, I wrote about my bucket list.  Here is the TOP 13 of that [...]

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