Thursday 13, I love you Gamma!

You know this pesky Back to Blogging thing I’ve been um sort of doing this week?  Well I was supposed to write a NEW POST about a woman I admire but you know, I was revisiting some old posts and really love this one I wrote some time ago…so here you go again.  Enjoy….and yeah, there’s a list at the end.

Driving home the other day I encountered these 2 lovely older women who were out for a walk.  The taller, blond woman was pumping her arms vigorously, running her jaw just as fast.

The second woman was who caught my eye and gave me pause.  She looked up at the sound of my car with a look of expectation as if to say ‘Oh, do I know you?  I wish I did!”  Her spirit shown through her bright eyes and gave me a glimmer of who she may have been as a child, full of wonder and joy.

I immediately thought of my mother’s 2 best friends and my grandmother, mom’s mom.

S and S are just like those two ladies, one driven and outspoken the other oozing joy and optimism, open to everyone.  I love these two women as much as I love my mother and note to self:  must tell them!

But the way that woman looked up so expectantly, made me wonder about who my grandmother was as a child.  Was she kind?  Was she playful?  Was she a bookworm or an athlete?  What was her favorite ice cream flavor.

Oh, you think I should ask her?  Unfortunately, I don’t think she’d know who I was.  She has Parkinson’s.  She was diagnosed over 12 years ago and has gone thru every prescription regimen she can to ward off its damage.  I haven’t seen her in almost that long and we haven’t spoken on the phone in forever.

She was a strange bird in the time that I knew her.  She lived in the most beautiful places (at least they are to me!) and would take us on hikes, all sorts of outdoor activities  (most likely to protect her furniture from the grimy hands of 4 rug rats.)  She wasn’t a great cook and for the longest time I didn’t understand why her orange juice that yes, you had to finish, was so bitter.   Found out in my 20s that she was cutting it with white grapefruit juice.

She was the rules queen.  No talking unless spoken to.  Eat with one hand in your lap unless you were using a knife and NEVER put your elbows on the table.  I once ALMOST said she was mean.  I amended it to say she was firm.

She once mailed me a meticulously packaged box of all sorts of plant samples from her new home.  Each with a little bit of water so that they wouldn’t dry out.  It was a little gross actually.  But I would love to receive that package today, to pour over the flora and her notes on each one.

Before I sat down to write this post I had called my mom to ask her what she knew her mother’s childhood and she couldn’t tell me anything.  It wasn’t something she talked about.  Unfortunately it’s lost and I’m very sad to not have that to share with my daughter, let alone my own loss.

But I am very conscious of this desire to know my family and I understand the need to hide the skeletons.  So I’m doing my best to record these snippets of memories and asking my family to help.

Are you recording your families memories?  How are you doing it?  Is there a question you want to ask a family member that can’t answer you?




And here are my 13:


1.  Grandma, what was your favorite ice cream flavor?  Please tell me you loved ice cream.


2.  Did you love to read as a child?  What was your favorite book?  What was the last book you read, you know, before you forgot.


3.  What did you do as a child?  Your favorite activity?


4.  What were the big events of the day?  The headlines?  Come on, I know there’s google but I want to hear it from you.


5.  Tell me about your wedding day, or should I say days.  I want to hear about both of them.


6.  How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant with my mom?  Did you have the luxury to dwell on these feelings?  Were you scared?


7.  Tell me about Grandpa, how you met, what made you fall in love with him?


8.  I know about the babysitter.  I understand.  How long before you met Orville?


9.  What was your favorite vacation spot as a child, as a mother, after you “retired”?


10.  What was my mother like as a child?  Did you play with her?  Did you enjoy being a mother?


11.  When did you stop going to church?  What led to that choice?


12.  What was you biggest victory?  Your biggest challenge?


13.  Because its always about me, forgetting how I express myself on this blog, if you knew me now, would you be proud?  What you want to tell me about the life I have left to live?






If you could ask anything of a woman you admire, what would you ask?