30 days of what the

Yeah, yeah, bite me. I’m doing a meme.

I know, I’m embracing this Me Me Me mantra…so this meme seems to fit. And I’m a little hard up for blog fodder. Call it performance anxiety.

Anyway, Jackie at With Just a Bit of Magic tweeted about her 30 days of Truth and it struck a chord with me. Usually tweets that make my girly bits tingle get me to write something outrageous but this time, I felt I could possibly do something honest. And you know me, putting it ALL out there!

You can go back to Jackie’s blog if you want to see the coming attractions or you can just hangout with me everyday and see what I pull out of my, yeah, I’m going to say it, see what I pull out of my ass!

Day One: Something you hate about yourself.

Well that’s easy, my knees. You know who has gorgeous knees? Gwyneth Paltrow! Bitch.

Alright, I think there is supposed to be more navel gazing than that….and I can tell you, there is no missing my navel!

One thing I’ve always hated about myself is how easily I’m influenced. Psychologists call it an external locus of control (thank you 30 hours for my minor, this is about all I remember!).

Much of my angst comes from seeing something, admiring it, and thinking if I can have that, do that, be that, than I will also be admired. What a load of shit that is! Oh sure, I saw all these people at a bloggy conference who had the cute little tablets or iPads. Came home, cranked up the angst machine and laptop and started shopping, reading reviews to my husband. One week later, Happy birthday to me! I’m an owner of an iPad. Did it make me a cooler person? A better blogger? You can bet you bottom dollar it did not.  (See that? Referencing an Annie song? Come on, CLEARLY not cool!…and I only had one line in that play!)

Cool toy yes, cool maker, not so much.

Wonky thing: we don’t put bumper stickers on our cars. I’m sure its something to do with driving classy yet nondescript cars. But I see a car with a funny sticker or maybe a fan of a cool band and I think, I want to be associated with something humorous/hip.  You know, the whole reflective glory thing (another psychobabble word, yeah me!).

Same thing goes for blogging. I fall in love with bloggers all the time. Big huge embarrassing crushes (Hi Nichole! *waving madly)! I then try to emulate their style. I lie in bed, racking my brain to find a way to rewrite a children’s book to reflect something in my adult life. Damn Sherri, I LOVED that post! And Tarja? Your creativity continues to floor me. Don’t get me started on the bloggers that post every DAY! It’s exhausting and I so want it to be me. I want the adoration that I see in the comments of these bloggers. I want to be part of that community.  (well dammit, it isn’t you guys, I love you all. You all just make me hungry for more. Yes, I’m an egomaniac, yeah, yeah, that’s what it is. Call me a narcissist too if you like. I like names.)

So yes, I hate that I’m like a plastic bag drifting in the wind. And even MORE embarrassing? That I just quoted a Katy Perry song.

So not the self image I'm feeling at the moment!

This is so not going to be a pretty month.

So spill it. Share with congregation: what is one thing you hate about yourself? And if I you name a body part, you’re just not being fun.

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16 comments to 30 days of what the

  • Coffeypot

    You are admired!

    What do I hate about myself? That I sometimes hate myself.


  • Chrissy

    I adore you! And I am super-happy that I can visit again! Somehow it always said blogger profile not available (some had the same issue with my blog)! But here I am again! Yay!
    And, to what I hate about myself…I always let people get the best of me for nothing…(does that make sense?)! I mean, I have to say NO more often!!
    Hugs xxx


  • CDG

    I was just reading another blogger who did this, and by the end? He was writing some really great, great, meaningful stuff.

    Looks like you’re off to a strong start.

    Can’t wait to read it all.


  • Jax

    You are amazing! For what I hate about myself… I’d have to go with the fact that I suck at making friends and keeping friends. It can be a real bummer! Can’t wait to the read the rest :)


  • Ashley @ Just Another Mom Of 2

    You even make this look easy and fun- and 30 days of truths is never that! I’m looking forward to your posts this month (as always, of course). One thing I hate about myself? My inability to really put it all out there. I’m slowly trying to do that. We’ll see..

    Happy January my sweet friend!


  • MommaKiss

    Something I hate about myself? My inability filter my words. There are times when being honest just isn’t necessary, yet, I continue to speak and continue to dig myself into a conversation that isn’t necessary. Lots of time the non-filter is entertaining. Sometimes, notsomuch.


  • John

    I hate my nose – I don’t know why . . . it’s actually not a huge nose, but somehow it looks all out of proportion in pictures. And it’s always stuffy.

    What do I most hate about myself, though (non-body-part edition) is my lack of motivation. I need to write more. Lots more.


  • Mindy

    OMG – are we related? I have the a lot of the same things I hate about myself. But the worst thing? I am not passionate. About ANYTHING! I mean, I love a lot of stuff, but I just don’t seem to have that passion that drives other people…..hmmm, I wonder if I can pick that up at Target?!?!!?


  • Nichole

    Truth: You are absolutely perfect the way that you are.
    All you need to do is trust your voice.
    I hear it and it’s beautiful.
    Much love to you.

    p.s. I have one of those iPad paperweights too! ;)


  • Laura

    I love this post! I’m going to follow your lead and do the 30 days.

    I also hate me knees. I have since I was about 14. Genetic curse. Even when I was a size 2, my knees were a size 14. That didn’t look right. Now that I’m…um…not a size 2, well my knees… It’s not good.

    Your honesty is refreshing. This is a great post.


  • Pamela

    I hate that plastic bag part of that song. Well, she’s annoying in general. So your knees? Knees are like feet, they get all scaly and fugly no matter what you do to them.


  • Sherri

    Wow, 30 days??? You rock,woman.

    And I hate, HATE my knees too! I know knees aren’t the height of sexiness, but mine are just baggy now. And one has a serious bruise on it from falling flat on the blacktop at school.

    So yeah, I totally rock. But you? Are hysterical.

    So here’s to your 30 days!


  • Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts

    I couldn’t be honest for 30 days straight. I would go into convulsions and my head would explode.


  • tulpen

    I am amazingly lazy. The REAL reason I am so in love with my new Kindle? No more pesky turning of pages. I don’t miss that exertion at all.


  • Jackie

    I’m not a big fan of my knees either… but in all reality if I lost weight every where then I think that maybe they’d look a lot better!

    I have several things that greatly dislike about myself. Probably to many to share! LOL!


  • Jill

    Nice job! I think we all have a lit bit of being easily influenced in us. And blog envy… that’s a given. :) Ready for tomorrow.


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