20 questions and multi-tasking

Thanks, Magnolia, thanks a lot.

See this hot little number tagged me in to participate in this sordid little questionaire. I know she’s just trying to embarass me, make me look bad in front of all my friends. But you know what? I needed the break from thinking…so here you go. Feel free to add your own answers.  Oh god, yes, I can kill two birds with 3 cats, or with 20 questions or whatever, you’ll see.

Here we go:

1) if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Oh, Fatboy, the bitch, PsychoCat? Don’t those sound like names you’d give your family members? Fatboy has been sharing EVERY bathroom visit I’ve made since he came home with me.  I think that makes him family.

Fatboy, the lighter years

PsychoCat, before the neurosis set in

The Bitch

2) if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Really, Mag? I dream of days spent on the beach, working out and my meals prepared for me. I dream of being tan without the wrinkles, a mother without the bodily function management and being a wife without being the domestic. Pick one.

3) what is the one thing most hated by you?

Magnolia and I see eye to eye on this one: willful ignorance. And I’m ashamed to admit, I am guilty of this. I keep my head down and try not to absorb the knowledge necessary to be a rockstar at work. I get by and that is good enough for me. However, it is also what I hate most about others. And I don’t understand it.

4) what would you do with a billion dollars?
Oh, the fun I would have. But first: I’d establish trust funds for ALL of my nieces and nephew’s college educations.  Of course, buy a house on the ocean, somewhere tropical, with a masseuse, barister, chef and cleaning staff included. Homes for my siblings and my parents. And finally I would fund programs to KEEP physical education and organized sports in as many schools as I could.

5) what helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
The giggling of my daughter ALWAYS works! But usually a workout, preferably outside will lift my spirits as well.  I suspect streaking without consequences probably would the trick, but I have yet to test this theory.

6) which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I’m with Magnolia on this one too…I wouldn’t want one without the other. Sorry, not up for discussion. (BTW, PsychoCat TOTALLY loves me, and it is annoying as hell! If only he wasn’t so attached, he’d be a much more interesting character!)

7) what is your bedtime routine?
Before I was married, I ALWAYS did some form of exercise, followed by a beer or a glass of wine, fash washing, teeth brushing and lights out. I still brush my teeth but I usually catch some of the nightly news before turning off the light for the night.

8 ) if you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
I am, I am! Adonis and I met on Craigslist in 2001. I had posted a personal ad that said I was looking for someone tall, athletic and that loved dark beer. I may have also mentioned that I am a trouble maker. He answered and its been rainbows and unicorns ever since.

9) if you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Do you remember Bob Ross’ Joy of Oil Painting? I loved watching the painting progress through the show. But while I don’t have a name, I would love to watch how a landscape designer does his/her job. And you know, if he wanted to put me to work, he wouldn’t have to twist my arm.  Martha? do you need a garden slave? I would so be there for you!

10) what kinds of books do you read?
Oh, I’m a book slut, I read most anything. I enjoy historical fictions. Had a dorky fixation with the wives of Henry the VIII for the a while. Love me some cop thrillers, biographies, self help stuff. Before Maddy, I read a book a week, now, I try to cram as much reading as I can over Christmas vacation. This last break: Dan Brown’s the Lost Symbol. Oh, yeah, another 30DoT prompt: Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  I loved this book and I go back and read it every few months when I lose sight of what is real and important…I’m feeling like its time again to pick up the old friend of mine.  Here is what the dust jacket says: …reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness and love. One of the easiest to forget and the best one to remember: Don’t take anything personally!  I know, right?

11) how would you see yourself in ten years’ time?
With a better rack and tighter ass. I’m going to be the soccer mom that makes you attend every game instead of sending your husband.  What?

A girl can dream, can't she?

12) what’s your fear?
My go to answer for this question is going down hill fast…or I guess, not sticking the landing after that fast little trip. So no, I’m NOT a skier. But I also have those motherhood related fears: that I won’t be enough for my kids, that I won’t have the strength, energy, patience to give them the life I want them to have.  But don’t think I won’t die trying!

13) would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Ha. You had to know a stupid question would pop up at some point, right? And the answer: HELLS NO! Sorry, this big ol earth has plenty for me to discover and explore. And come on, french fries? No contest.  So this sort of answer one of my 30 Days of Truth questions, Someone or something you definitely could live without: spaced travel.  HEE!

14) would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Okay, first I hate this question. There is the implication that one or the other would provide you with happiness or fulfillment that the other would not.  Since marriage was never on my to do list, I would have to say the first. Sure I’m married but i’m not married to the institution. I’d be just as happy if Adonis and I had never said “I do”.  Though we did look pretty good together…we’re talking old Hollywood glam. Yeah baby.

15) what’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Oh, that’s easy: pee. Come on, I’m 5 months pregnant.  Alright, that isn’t the FIRST thing…I usually kick a family member/cat.

16) if you could change one thing about your spouse/partner, what would it be?
Not that I think is something you can do, but IF I could, I would make it so he could never play the obtuse card again. That and I might give him some butt implants.

17) if you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Hm, tapping finger to chin. I love my name. Some of you know it.  To me is says: Hi, I’m approachable, I would love to be your friend. But I would switch out my middle name (Lynne) for Rose. Sigh.

18) have you ever been betrayed by a family member? what did you do to get through it and go on with life? what made it better? would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
UGH, I hate this question…however, I think I just scored.  This will also answer the 30 Days of Truth prompt:A hero that has let you down.
Been waiting for that one tear jerking, vulnerable moment, haven’t you? Well here you go. It’s my mom. Has she betrayed me? Well not in a stab me in the back, take what’s mine sort of way. Mom did a great job of feeding us, keeping us clothed, getting us to church, doing the best to provide us with the basics. I know she loved us. But at some point she checked out. When I was in college, I could always count on my mom being there around moving day, making sure my new digs had a clean fridge and oven. She’d buy the first round of cleaning supplies and groceries.  Sure that doesn’t sound like she was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on but she was supportive in her own way. But something changed. After my much younger sister moved out, my mom sort of disappeared. There would be the occasional phone call but it was if she misdialed and was talking to a girlfriend, and needing to get something off her chest. It was a one way street. I couldn’t speak to her about my fertility issues or my fears of finding a job or a life partner. She would come to visit and never lifted a finger to help. Oh sure, I knew she was my guest, but she’s my mom, you know. I kept looking for her to pick up the dish towel when I was doing the dishes or offer to make the salad for dinner. And she didn’t. Even now I get the weekly call from Dad and she’s never reaching for the phone to talk.  My sister says the same thing. Mom goes to “help” with the kids but spends most of her time reading magazines. Its as if she’s excused herself from being Mom.  How do I get on with life? I turn to strong women to lean on, you my friends. Your wisdom, your kindness, your acceptance….and plus you don’t have the pictures to blackmail me.  I have forgiven, but cannot forget that my mom gave only as long as she felt she had to.

19) if you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Chips and Guacamole. That counts as one, right?

whew. now to share the love: i have to tag 4 people to play. here they are – **ducking before they throw tomatoes at my head!

Morgan from The Little Hen House

Jaime from Red Red Whine

Paige from Slightly Off Balance

Nicole from I’m the Better Half

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Facebook comments:

13 comments to 20 questions and multi-tasking

  • tulpen

    Fuck. More cats! What the fuck is with people posting shit about their cats. I hate cats.

    Thanks for not tagging me.


    Symdaddy Reply:

    Cats! Cats! Cats & more CATS!!!


    Don’t ya just love ‘em?


  • Kimberly

    My dog eats cats for breakfast…kidding he doesn’t but he gives the neighborhood cat hussy the side eye every time it prances it’s forever pregnant self across our lawn. I think it’s taunting my dog.
    And Bob Ross? That guy is a blessing to any insomniac. Let’s just paint some happy little trees over on the mountain sidezzzzzzzzzz…


  • magnolia

    hee, hee. :)

    i will state for the record that i did not write the questions. they were passed on verbatim as they were given to me.


  • [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mads Mom, Mads Mom. Mads Mom said: I'm calling out @BetterHalfMommy @jaimera @littlehenhouse and @offbalancepaige in today's post: http://tiny.cc/iv7lg [...]

  • John

    My parents divorced when I was a senior in college, and my dad has pulled the same trick as your mom – a complete one-way street. When he needs me, he calls . . . if I ever call him, it’s like I’m showing up uninvited (and I’d never, ever show up on the front porch of my old house uninvited).

    Now, I’m going to spend all day daydreaming of a beach house with a live-in maid, barista, masseuse, and an endless supply of both Pale Ale & Pinot Noir (because you need something to quickly re-introduce calories after running on the beach, which is an absolute bitch to do, but so much fun).


  • Jessica

    Oh, Kitties!

    I loved your answers. Families are…funny, aren’t they?


  • Wendi

    Great post! But please don’t become Pamela Anderson. One of her is enough.


  • gigi

    THe Joy of Oil Painting. OMG….i was subjected to hours of that show as a youth.


  • Jackie

    First…. you’re cats are pretty! And easier to deal with than a dog! I know this because I have a dog.

    Good job! You seem to be doing really well with the 30 Days of Truth! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one out there who has a mom who has just checked out on us. I never thought about it that way until I read this and I realized that my mom has probably did the same thing. Sad, that’s for sure.


  • I take it that we have a mixed bag on pussy vs bitch lovers. Just saying.


  • flat stanley

    Great voice in your posts.

    ah, take it easy on the ol’ lady. you don’t know what’s going on inside her head until you ask her.

    signed, one of those moms doing the “you’re-an-adult-and-you-haven’t-exactly-explained-to-me-just-exactly-what-it-is-you-want-from-me-nowadays” dance. (luckily, the kid in question recently sat me down and clued me in. Much to her surprise, she discovered that her assumptions about my actions were not the same as mine and now we are tippy-toeing our way to mutual adjustments)


  • MommaKiss

    I’m with Tulpen – but for real – if I had a cat, it would be named the Bitch.


    That’s all I got. Long fucking morning.


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