Sexy hits a dry spell

What?  Hold the presses!

Okay, seriously, I bailed on you all.   Come on, Chuck, House AND Lie to Me, all on ONE NIGHT?!?!?!?    Seriously!  I mean, I love you, with all my girly bits and sweet spots and this odd thing I think you all call a heart, but Lightman, people!  LIGHTMAN!

I’m addicted okay?!?!  I guess I should probably put it all out there, since I’m spilling the beans.  I like Antiques Roadshow too (thanks Cory, for bringing me back to my love!)

I know, on with the sex, right?

Well, that’s where the title comes in.  See I’m struggling with this whole thing, this series on S-E-X!

At first I thought I’d just talk about MY sex life.  You know,  dry spells,  personal proclivities, three ways  (woaaaah, hold on to the short hairs, folks, we’ll get there. )  But a recent post got some responses that I hadn’t anticipated.  I didn’t expect some of you to pour your heart out to me. And I didn’t expect that I would be so moved by your trust.

Then there was the rest of you, with your smart ass remarks and your show off stories.

Folks, I’m loving it.  REALLY LOVING it.

But I don’t know where to take it.  That’s were you come in.  Tell me where to go next.

Guest posts from writers of fantasy?  Yeah, that’s a shout out to you Red Red Whine!

More advice stuff?  (yeah, that just may dry up pretty quick)  Do you want to know about weird stuff?  Like the psychological explanation of  the appeal of golden showers?  (really? gulp)

Should I give a blow by blow recap of the entire Kama Sutra?  Adonis wouldn’t mind helping with the research but I am NOT posting pictures.  And NO WAY am I vlogging an “episode.”

So hit me people, tell me where you want this series to go.

Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure this ALSO fits the bill for the Back to School, Back to Blogging.  Yeah, I need some extra credit.

24 Responses to Sexy hits a dry spell
  1. dirt clustit
    October 5, 2010 | 6:15 am

    I think we all understand pictures not being posted (but sent privately through personal e-mail is pretty much the “golden” standard)

    but whatever you feel comfortable doing (although you kinda been talking up a fairly big game)

    I don’t know, what about audio only?


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    And dirt clustit takes the lead. John Coffey, you better bring on the serious perv or I’ve got myself a new uncle!


    dirt clustit Reply:

    what? uncle?
    well now it makes a little more sense why my sister won’t talk to me and when I go in for a hug my own mother straight arms me like a pro quarter back. See I hit my head right before puberty and everything I know about families I learned from from OPB TV. But ever since it’s been getting misprinted in the TV guide as PBTV I guess my actions towards my sister and mother have been *maybe* a little INappropriate.

    This kind of pisses me off as now that Public broadcast bills me $29/month for one god damn channel, my sister pukes at the sight of me my mother defense for curb my zealous hugs and kisses is literally karate and here I am thinking it just naturally is intuitive instinct.

    I don’t think my uncle cares too much for me, but maybe I should show a little more skin and then just corner hom in the kitchen?

    I really have to do something different as my mom recently got a stun gun and granted I’ve been zapped 26 times this week I haven’t had feeling in my arm (the right one which gets the cattle prod 90% of the time)
    My doctor just rolls his eyes as everytime he asks I say “YES! my mother tazered me and NO i do not take drugs”

    maybe everyone is right when they say relationships take a laws on work. Cause THAT would be hard, I guess my youth pastor was right l;ike he told me when I was just a boy and god really does want me to suck di*K

    My life sucks ! OMG! I did not even mean to say it like it

    *sobbing* I am so screwed

    FUCK THIS I AM OFFICIAL AN EATHIAST OH NO Even my mis-spellings are spelling it out.

    please mad woman DO SOMETHING


  2. Anastasia
    October 5, 2010 | 6:59 am

    I am all about advice. Maybe guest bloggers with advice? Visiting you from our Tribes.


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Thanks Anastasia. I’ll add that to the idea bank!


  3. Sara
    October 5, 2010 | 7:07 am

    I think the sex series could be fun. Maybe you could write it around other things so you’re not ONLY doing sex stories?


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Tell me more oh wise and potty mouthed one!


  4. tulpen
    October 5, 2010 | 8:48 am

    Oh. I got a show off story for ya.

    Woke up so freaking sick yesterday morning to hubby giving me his trademark ass rub.

    Me: “Really? I’m fucking sick.”

    Him: rubrubrub

    Me: “Fine, but I’m not moving.”

    Like the best porn ever right?


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Girl, you got it so good.
    The things I’d do for a good ass rub! Oh hell, with this ass, it doesn’t take a lot. Thank you very much!

    And you can star in any porno I ever produce!


    Morgan B. Reply:

    Dude, did my husband steal the ass rub move from yours or was it the other way around. So. Freaking. Predictable.


  5. Poppy
    October 5, 2010 | 10:18 am

    Slap on the K-Y and pull out the strap on, I want to read about interesting sex.


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Um, WOW! Funny you mention that, it has been discussed in the Mad Woman’s house. (But don’t tell Adonis I told you!)


  6. magnolia
    October 5, 2010 | 10:30 am

    maybe some combination of all of the above would be fun. (though i am SO with you about the no pictures/video thing. i won’t even let that happen for private consumption.) guest posts would be interesting, too, maybe arranged around a theme?


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    You guys rock. I’m getting so many ideas, this series may go on for months!


  7. Symdaddy
    October 5, 2010 | 11:14 am

    I haven’t (recently) poured my heart out to anyone and I use my “smart ass” comments sparingly …

    … but to be spurned in favour of Cal “big nose and short arse” Lightman!!!

    I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you this time!

    Not even for that plate of doughnuts in your fridge … or those skimpy underwear pictures you promised me!


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Oh George. You aren’t being replaced by Cal in my fantasies. Love the character, the actor can stay home, thanks.

    Come now, we don’t have donuts in our house. Adonis and I sneak them at work and try not to get caught.

    Oh, and keep looking. Those pics are around here somewhere!


  8. Coffeypot
    October 5, 2010 | 4:04 pm

    I have to draw the line at golden showers. You piss on me and your gonna get your ass whipped (and not in the fun, sexy way.) Now I do like some three way (well, I like reading about it.) So tell us about your experiences with three ways – double(and that is not you, hubs, and your vibrator….okay, that, too.) Now if you really want to get serious, tell us about your first love affair with that German Sheppard you came across in the park (he had a bone of his own.) Ever date any priest? Groom horses? Have straight sex? Tell it all, girl. But wait till I get my hand lotion and some Calamine Lotion for my arm.

    Okay! Carry on!


  9. jaime
    October 5, 2010 | 6:17 pm

    since you called me out and all, i’m in. just tell me when you want it and how…naughty…you want me to be ;)

    you can probably sucker…um…talk…mr. condescending into writing you something steamy. his stuff is GOOD when he takes the time to write it.


  10. mjrodriguez
    October 6, 2010 | 8:00 am

    hello tribemate, seems like i’ve caught you in a er, “steamy” situation :-)

    after reading your post, it looks like i have a lot to learn so if you don’t mind i’d like to follow this thread and see where it takes me….and what it can teach me, haha.

    p.s. a rehash of the kama sutra would be nice ;-) and i agree to “no vlogs”.


  11. Cold As Heaven
    October 6, 2010 | 8:24 am

    I’ve been waiting for pictures and video clips for a long time now, that’s the only reason why I read your blog of course >;)

    Anyway, what about fetishes? That’s a cool subject. And you can keep it going forever, with all the weird varieties around. Let me tell you about a woman I met once … oh, sorry phone ringing; to be continued later … >:)


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    I think that’s a great idea…the fetishes, that is. Will do. Hmmm now I’ll need research partner.


  12. MommaKiss
    October 6, 2010 | 12:03 pm

    bring it.
    i have some dirty pictures to share. that maybe i’d let you share, without identifying me, of course. could never do it on mommakiss, i got a rep to uphold, you know. [i lie - i have no rep]

    for real, get some guest posters – maybe some advice, some sexy fiction, some sexy non-fiction. basically i love reading porn. don’t even need the pictures. remember hustler? it’s for the ARTICLES!


    The Mad Woman behind the Blog Reply:

    Oh, don’t think I don’t know who to tap for pics!


  13. Cold As Heaven
    October 10, 2010 | 7:10 am

    I’m at your service >;)


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