Its like bathing in Starbursts

Yes folks I’m bringing you a guest post because, well, it isn’t that I’m not feeling sexy. (Did you see me strutting my stuff, baby belly out to here and wearing fishnet stockings …that crazy bitch was me!)  But I’m swamped at work and barely keeping my shit together at home. (Why is it keeping my house spotless has me all frazzled?)

So anyway, my dear friend and personal hero Pamela from 2 Much Testosterone offered up some words about sex and the real world of marriage. She truly is a strong woman who is kicking PPD a kick in the ass.  Her strength, her hope and determination will make her your hero too.  Go get to know her, will you?

Oh and then come back and read her insightful post.  Thank you Pamela!

Sexy Time: It’s like bathing in Starbursts that someone already unwrapped for you, only better!

Take getting pregnant for example. Each woman is different just as each pregnancy is. In the beginning, most of us are scared to get it on with our significant other because, “What if his penis pokes the baby in the eye? Then my baby will be blind because I wanted a few moments of sexy time!” Of course that wouldn’t happen and it’s okay to admit the thought crossed your mind. Go ahead, say it out loud. You’ll feel better.

Giving up is so not the way to go. After you push that kid out, he doesn’t stop crying. How are you going to find time to bring your sexy back when all this human does is eat, shit and scream?

Being able to laugh at yourself in your time of need also doesn’t hurt. I’d even go so far to suggest taping it so you can laugh over it when the kid makes it to college.

Don’t have planned sex.

Throw nursing into the mix. Your boobs are like boulders, in weight and to the touch. Your baby only seems to want to eat after you’ve pumped. And your husband? He decides to turn on the foreplay and all you can think about is taking out one of your weapons and squirting him in the eye with the liquid gold. Oh the waste!

It’s a light bulb moment. It was once on and blinding you, it dimmed out, then the son of a bitch exploded and complete darkness took over. All of a sudden, your inner self decided it was probably time to change that bulb. Now, it’s a spot light shining down on you and sexy time is all you can think about. Justin Timberlake is blaring in your ears cause, duh, “He brought sexy back!” and oh thank God it’s back!

What it comes down to is this. Sex is healthy and natural and fun. And it’s totally NORMAL to want to do it. Maybe not in the middle of a meeting at work or while you’re watching Cartoon Network with the kiddos…..There’s a time and a place.

Just saying that you want to is probably not enough. They’re men for god’s sake, you might have to make a sign and picket in front of the TV in something slinky to retrain him. Coax him back out of that shell and don’t start talking about daycare or world hunger or tampons within the hour leading up to sexy time to a minimum of an hour after the deed is done. Trust me. I don’t think you can get mad if he rolls over and snoozes afterward either. But don’t you dare do that to him. He might want seconds and you kind of owe it to him.

Now that you’ve retrained him and you realize how good at sexy time you both are, repeat…repeat…repeat. Don’t stop again or he’ll probably freeze up like the tin man in need of oil.

Sexy time is a terrible thing to waste. At least, that’s what I think.

I told you she was wonderful.