I must admit that I have reached a point in my life where I have to seriously ask myself, “Am I too old to be wearing that?” So, through the process of this deep soul searching, I have come up with a list of items this forty-seven-year-old should not have in her closet and bureau.

#1 – Looks like my t-shirts that say things like “Love Conquers All” or “I’m With Stupid” are all going to have to go. Although I think I am sharing with the public my sentiments and humor, the effect is that I am desperately trying to hang on to my teen-age years.

So, instead of the immature message t-shirt, fashion experts advise that I opt for t-shirts of a solid, vibrant color. These have the versatility of being dressy or casual.

#2 – Whatever the current fashion trend is for jeans, I need to consider that the target market for denim are teenagers and the twenty-something crowd. Now, that doesn’t mean I have to wear “mom” jeans, but I probably shouldn’t be squeezing myself into a pair of low-rise hip-huggers that bare a little too much if I bend over. Whether I like it or not, I’m just too old to be baring my bum.

The boot cut with a bit of a flare and a waistline right at my hips or just above it is what I should be shopping for. I also should avoid the stonewashed effect as well and go for darker colors.

#3 – Hooker heels are definitely out, not that I wore them anyway. But, concept shoes in general are just a little silly for a grown woman. No Mickey Mouse sneakers or Wizard of Oz ruby slippers of red sparkly stuff. I don’t need to be sporting a pair of thigh high patent leather dominatrix boots or sandals appropriate for a gladiator arena. I will just look ridiculous in such things.

I can still be glamorous or cute, depending on my mood, but with tasteful footwear. A moderate heel, two or three inches, with a minimal platform or none at all. Boots look better with a tapered chunky heel rather than a stiletto. Sandals can be glitzy and should show off a pretty pedicure rather than scream, “Look at me! Look at me!”

#4 – Micro-minis have got to go, all of them! Even though I have kept my figure, the reality is that no matter how hard I work out to keep my muscles firm, gravity still has its way with my skin.  No one will find the saggy skin above my knees attractive, period. Slimming pencil skirts with a “just above the knee” hemline are just as sexy.

#5 – Keep the girls under wraps! Cleavage that is beginning to show the signs of less collagen, and that strange, papery, wrinkle effect at certain angles, are just gross. Although my husband may still find them a turn on, society is not staring because of the stunning effect. No, they are all wondering why that woman would go out of the house and embarrass herself like that. No one wants to see old boobs, any part of them. To keep it sexy but classy, a  v-neck or open buttons should end just above the crevasse.

#6 – The skimpy ribbed tees that my son calls “wife-beaters” are history except as pajamas or under another blouse. I am actually doing this one right. I have several blouses of sheer fabric that I wear the tees under.

Now, some of my peers may be absolutely offended at these words of advice, but, to each his own. Or, should I say, to each “her” own. In the end we do not live our lives to please others, most certainly. Wear what you like. However, if you are like me, I had simply reached an age where I was actually confused when I looked in the mirror and saw myself in an outfit that I had worn for ages and suddenly I didn’t like the looks of it. I am still very young at heart and as much as I hate to admit it the problem was that I need to dress my age.

And, you know what? I am still beautiful. I’ve still “got it”. And I have discovered that by “dressing my age” my beauty is actually enhanced. My beauty is now “timeless”. My beauty is now “classy”. I know longer appear to be desperately trying to get attention and hang on to a time in my life that has passed. And, I have achieved this without dressing like my grandmother, even though I am one!