Did you get the subtle suggestion that I may feel shackled by my new abode? No? Hmph.
We moved this last weekend. My delightful in-laws were here to watch the kids and help out. Adonis worked.Â Did anyone just read those three sentences and thought ‘Calgone, take me away?’ Because I’ve got just the tub for that!
Anyway, here are a few notes on the matter.
1.Wow, that’s a frickin big house.
2.Could we own more crap? The movers filled a truck with our bulky items, patio furniture and garage stuff yet FIL and I made 8 1 hour trips in a car and a pickup truck and we’re still not done. Sadly the rest will have to go when Adonis can get over there on his one day off.
3. And speaking of days off, you know what Adonis did on his? If you say “help move” you need to leave. Have you not met him? Hello? He unpacked and hooked up his stereo equipment. The Dude’s clothes were lost for 4 days, I have no idea where the power cord is to my laptop, Maddy has no clean panties but by God, we have music to listen to.
4. For all those 3300 square feet, the damn place doesn’t have much storage. Coming from a 1400 square foot house Â I’m quite perplexed by this.
5. All those square feet make for one awesome big ass soccer arena, or doll house, or cat lounge. Also, energy bill padder. Great.*
6. Did i mention: its a big frickin house.**
7. Day one of the move, Maddy got sick, wet her bed the first night in the house and 3 days later still isn’t sleeping through the night. Don’t get me started on The Dude.
8. Beside where I’m going to put my 8 pairs of shoes and 10 purses, I’m at a loss as to where to put the damn litter box. I’m quite tempted to leave the backdoor open and see if any coyotes visit.
9. Oh, yeah, I have 3 cats, two of which are destructive binge-eaters who have learned to open the kitchen cabinets. The other one? She’ll sit next to a bag of cat food and whine. I don’t know which is more annoying.***
10. There is a raised planting bed in the only sunny spot in our yard. Its going to be filled with lovely veggies and herbs. I’m going to pack that thing so full that Adonis will be overwhelmed by the idea of taking it out. Even if I have to plant them by the light of the moon.
11. You know the shitty thing about having a huge kitchen? It takes a whole lotta steps to make ANYTHING. “Sorry honey, dinner is going to be 75% later than normal.” Lets not talk about more sweeping, wiping, cleaning. ****
12. The little house, my sweet baby, my first love, had ONE full sized mirror in a room with really bad lighting. This house? WALLS OF MIRRORS! This post-BFing body isn’t exactly what I want to see first thing in the morning.
13. I’m an ungrateful bitch, I know. Its a great family house, the drive to work isn’t near as bad as I expected and I no longer have to hear first hand the state of my in-laws bowels. #WINNING
*We had a tiny living room in our tiny first house. We now have 2 big ass living spaces. This means furniture shopping, my own personal hell.
**13 is a LOT of things to list. Who came up with this stupid meme anyway?
****Or how stupid these cabinets are…. Did they not have bottles/jars/kitchen appliances over 9 inches tall in 1989?