Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin’ don’t be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more.
Maddy is relentless. If she wants something she will continue to ask, in the same tone, over and over until we give in. We can tell her “in just a moment, honey” or “No, you can’t have that.” The response is the same: “I want …” She wears us out.
To add to the fun, ever since The Dude arrived, she’s wanted me to hold her, ALL. THE. TIME. I can be sitting on the toilet and she’ll come in and tell me over and over “Hold me!” Or its “Give Sammy to Daddy and HOLD ME.” She will follow me around the house, trying to hold on to one of my legs until I stop and hold her.
Yes, the easy answer is to stop, sit and hold her and I do but the child is insatiable. She cannot get enough Mommy. It is NOT charming.
And yet, even when she hasn’t eaten her dinner, she’s snatched her toys away from Sam and she’s swiped at the cats, or she’s waking me at 2 am to ask for mucky muck, the moment she smiles at me I lose it. This child of mine, the one that took us 2 1/2 years and tens of thousands of dollars to conceive, is my heart. Â No matter how many times she hurts me with her words, her moments of meanness, her rotten orneriness, I love her. For always.
Maddy, when I hear this song I think of you. There may be a day when you wonder about my feelings for you, when you worry that I may not love you. I do, my sweetest child, I do. I always have and I always will.
Bogarter of the OJ
Oh – she is so sweet. My heart constricts reading this. Beautiful, my friend.
I love your honesty and your heart. Just love.
Wow, has she grown up! She knows that Sam is competition for Love and Affection from you. She senses Love as being something that is finite in Nature, when we, as parents, understand that there is enough Love for both.
She will be ok…
~shoes~
It sounds like you have a serious case of baby envy on your hands there.
While I would NEVER recommend the “two at a time” thing that we kind of did, I will say that neither child actually ever knew what it was like to be an only child, so we don’t have the “envy, because you usurped my being the baby,” though we do have plenty of “envy, because I want and you can’t have because I said so.”
She is really, really, really pretty. Something tells me that she might figure out how to get away with some brattiness in life.
Oh, my friend…you did pour your heart out. They drive us insane, we can’t wait for them to just go the hell to bed, and when they smile? We totally lose it. I SO get that…there is only so much of you to go around.
Gorgeous…just gorgeous, Amy.
Real and lovely and honest.
I just fell even more in love with you and I didn’t even think that was possible.
Yes, this is exactly it right here, parenting the way it really is for all of us universally. Lovely job!
Being a mama. It’s so hard. And so beautiful. It’s nothing we thought it would be and yet everything.
I love the words to this song. And the words you’ve shared here.
Hugs to all of you. And extra orange juice all around.
Absolutely adorable and precious!
It’s an amazing power they have, those children of ours.
And she will know, sweet lady. She will know
I would like to say, first and foremost, I’m not a ‘child’ person. Irritating children are strung-up by the ankles in our house.
Whereas I have never nailed a child to the wall for behaviour that could be described as being very much akin to a declaration of war, I have actually bought the hammer and nails!
However, I used to sometimes fall foul of those “Ain’t I cute” moments and give in to any demand, reasonable or not.
Thank God they grew up and moved out!
Amy, this is beautiful.