If you guessed dressing up like a dominatrix, you guessed wrong. A pussy cat doll? Nope. Â A trollop? Lady of the night? Sex slave.
No. no and no.
I don’t really do Halloween.
And now I’ve lost half of you.
It’s alright, they’ll be back.
So what will I do instead of dressing up? Here’s a list:
1. Run 5 miles with milk-engorged boobs.
2. Make homemade baby food.
3. Turn rejected Â homemade baby food into a tasty spiced bread, hoping to trick at least ONE family member into eating it.
4. Watch Pulp Fiction AGAIN and argue with Adonis over its merits. (No, it is NOT one of the greatest movies ever.)
5. Go to a dress up party, not in costume, only knowing the one person who rode over in the car with me, to drink 2 glasses of sparkling wine and avoid bedtime with 2 cranky kids.
6. Dance with a 14 month old while wearing red stiletto boots. Seriously people, this child had the biggest cheeks I’ve ever seen. So cute, until it was past HER bedtime.
7. Start my Amazon wishlist for Christmas.
9. Search for a place to hide the booze needed to make #8. Naughty Adonis.
10. Clean out my inbox while the Â DH and the daughter trick or treat.
Also, I’m linking up with Northwest Mommy’s Monday Listicles. Who doesn’t love a list?
So Halloween ain’t my thing. Is it yours? If so, tell me about your costume. Are is there another holiday you mail it in/avoid at all costs?