If you guessed dressing up like a dominatrix, you guessed wrong. A pussy cat doll? Nope. Â A trollop? Lady of the night? Sex slave.
No. no and no.
I don’t really do Halloween.
And now I’ve lost half of you.
It’s alright, they’ll be back.
So what will I do instead of dressing up? Here’s a list:
1. Run 5 miles with milk-engorged boobs.
2. Make homemade baby food.
3. Turn rejected  homemade baby food into a tasty spiced bread, hoping to trick at least ONE family member into eating it.
4. Watch Pulp Fiction AGAIN and argue with Adonis over its merits. (No, it is NOT one of the greatest movies ever.)
5. Go to a dress up party, not in costume, only knowing the one person who rode over in the car with me, to drink 2 glasses of sparkling wine and avoid bedtime with 2 cranky kids.
6. Dance with a 14 month old while wearing red stiletto boots. Seriously people, this child had the biggest cheeks I’ve ever seen. So cute, until it was past HER bedtime.
7. Start my Amazon wishlist for Christmas.
8. Shop for the ingredients for a few yummy treats and Christmas presents.
9. Search for a place to hide the booze needed to make #8. Naughty Adonis.
10. Clean out my inbox while the  DH and the daughter trick or treat.
Also, I’m linking up with Northwest Mommy’s Monday Listicles. Who doesn’t love a list?
So Halloween ain’t my thing. Is it yours? If so, tell me about your costume. Are is there another holiday you mail it in/avoid at all costs?
There is something about Halloween that I do love…oh, maybe it’s the candy! I get a kick out of seeing creative homemade costumes, regardless of the materials used and level of talent–store bought pre-assembled ones bore me! Our 11 year old girl is trick-or treating in a poodle skirt ensemble (with a very sketchy poodle cut out of black felt), and the 14 year old boy and his friends are going as the channel 4 news crew from Anchorman. I will be going as a mom pretending to be ok with the fact that our trick or treating years are slipping away!
The spicy bread idea is a great one! Hope you have some takers.
andrea-maybe it’s just me recently posted..It’s that big kid again
That’s quite a full day, sweets.
CDG recently posted..Six Welcoming Words
I love that you don’t do Halloween.
I don’t as it’s not in my culture. What is, is Chinese New Year, and I really, really dislike it. I know, I suck.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Guest Star: Stasha of The Good Life
Ouch to #1. I have done that WAY too many times. But alas, I love Halloween. I plan on dressing up in my witch costume. I even bought a new hat this year! No, the holiday I avoid at all costs is Valentine’s day. Mother’s day ranks a close second to V-day, but I suppose that one isn’t technically a holiday.
i love that there’s someone else who doesn’t really do halloween!
jaime recently posted..hmm…is this thing still on?
It’s funny – I started reading “dressing like a trollop?” and I was thinking “she doesn’t dress like a trollop – just thinks like one.”
Anywho, I need to make the limoncello, too . . . like, badly.
I’m going trick-or-treating with the kids tonight. There will be pictures. So many pictures.
i’m stuck at #4. it really IS one of the greatest movies. ever. really. it is.
You would totally rock the dominatrix ….
you know you want too
Halloween is not my thing…only been to a few dress up parties in my lifetime. I do love seeing the kiddos in their costumes though and am always excited to see what they come up with. It was a lot more fun when my kids were little for sure. I just read your date with adonis and was cracking up!
bestfoodies recently posted..Fall for Foodies
I go through all this trouble reading books and inviting his friends over for a party so my son grows up NOT screaming “my mommy is not born here and always spoiled all the holidays”
Then this morning he declares: I will stay home and eat the candy. Because we have it here so no need to go ask neighbors for more. So there…
Your list is pretty darn fab, red boots and all…
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
Halloween is rather new here, imported from USA because shop owners wanted another event to boost sales. I’ve just been down in the shop on the corner to buy a lot of candy that I hand out to the trick-or-treat kids that ring our door bell >:)
I’ve never been big into Halloween other than throwing up a few decorations and taking the kids trick or treating.
I want to see those boots.
Jessica recently posted..I Chose To Be Tortured By My Children
I’m going to the Waffle House dressed as I usually do, but this time I’m going as a Democrat. After the meal I will demand that the top 1% of those in the diner pay for my meal because they have it and I don’t.
My boobs hurt just reading #1. Ouch!
Those boots sound killer though!
Ouch for the run, yay for the boots, and go you for the naughty! xo
Galit Breen recently posted..My Kids Hate Matzo Ball Soup
I don’t love the candy. Truly. But it’s fun dressing up. You know, other than being a witch the other 364 days a year.
MommaKiss recently posted..BOO!
I have that *same* argument with my farmer all the time. I am on your side, sister.
Jessica recently posted..Happy Halloween!
I loved this listicle. I think it’s my fave one this week. Particularly the visual of you in the red boots dancing with the chubby-cheeked baby. (-:
Ado recently posted..Not Now, Mommy Has A Skittles Hangover
Totally not my thing…but I did love watching the kids enjoy it. This year? Hubs and I were the odd old people handing out candy, while K was off trick-or-treating with her friends.
There may have been a glass or two of wine involved.
Sherri recently posted..Corner of Guilt and Regret
Running 5 miles sounds like a blast. Doing it while engorged… Even better!
Mommy2cents recently posted..Before I Croak…
You’re one sick puppy Mommy. I think I love you.
Well, that doesn’t sound awful.
I think I used to like Halloween.
The Monday thing kind of ruined it this year…
I really want to see your Christmas wishlist because I’m struggling with mine.