Mandy and Rob

I noticed him at the gym, working his perfectly defined biceps, well developed pecs and his mouth-watering abs, every visible inch of him perfection. His wavy dark hair, the long black eyelashes framing his deep brown eyes, his devil may care smile made me tingle from head to toe.

He worked the room like he worked his body: hanging out with friends, chatting with girls, flirting outrageously with the older woman at the front desk.

I knew I would eventually see him at the bar where I worked. Men like him didn’t stay home on Saturday nights.

The night he showed up at my station, I was prepared. Having watched the game many times, I knew showing any interest would have been a dead giveaway.

Calmly I poured his rum and Coke and turned to the next customer.

Later when he wanted a refill, I made him wait. Any preferred treatment would have acknowledged his beauty and expose my vulnerability. I flirted with the other men, flashing a smile, laughing at joke – my attention directed anywhere but him.

Weeks passed before he noticed me at the gym, the message clear: he wasn’t the only player in this game.

“Hey, don’t you bartend at Hollywoods?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You know, its cool that you work out here too.”

“Right. Cool. I need to go. Psych test in the morning.” I left, hoping he believed my breathlessness was from the miles I ran on the treadmill.

My anticipation built as I awaited the weekend. When he walked in the bar, desire raced through my body. I threw him a bone, and had his rum and Coke waiting for him, served with a smile.

“My name is Rob.”

“Mandy. How’s it going?”

“What are you doing later? You want to grab a bite after your shift?”

“I’m closing tonight, so it’d have to be after 2.”  I held my cool facade in place.

“Maybe we could hang out or something.”

“Sure. Come back after close, I’ll let the doorman know to let you in.” Nodding my dismissal, I escaped to the walk in cooler to cool down, thankful he was gone when I returned.

Closing time came after an eternity.

“I know where there’s a party, want to go?”

“It’s been a long night. Why don’t we go to my place so I can get out of these work clothes?” My innuendo sealed the deal.

I heard him mutter “Score!” under his breath as I grabbed my purse. Walking to my apartment, my yearning built with every step.

We didn’t make it off the elevator before his hands were all over me, in my hair, under my shirt, goosebumps cropping up in their path.

Catching my breath, I succumbed to my own exploration of the body that had been fueling my fantasies for weeks, his arms and chest against me as hard as in my dreams.

We stumbled to my door, breaking apart only so I could find my keys. “Where is your room?” he asked, as my fingers trembled against the lock.

“Down the hall, on the right.” It was happening too fast. I wanted to savor the moment, open this fantasy, one button at a time.

“I’ll be right there.”I watched his delicious ass walk away then slammed a beer to calm my nerves.

Taking a deep breath, I sauntered into my room and stopped dead at the sight before me.

Rob was admiring his naked body in my wall to wall mirror. He turned, preened, posed and flexed. And with each turn of his hips, his flaccid penis wagged and swayed.

I’ve finally forgiven him for ruining my fantasy. I’m certain he will never forgive me for my side splitting laughter.

Thank you Kelly, and Mandy for your late night editing!!

32 Responses to Mandy and Rob
  1. The Drama Mama
    March 22, 2011 | 12:05 am

    Ok. I’m giggling outrageously over here, and wondering if this is fact or fiction, since I don’t know your name. I don’t have any good concrit for you, because I loved it overall so much. it’s light, it’s funny, it builds up nicely with a surprise at the end. I think the whole flaccid penis part and his preening in the mirror was probably my favorite parts of the whole story (sad, I know, but true. Haha). Also so VERY easy to imagine.
    The Drama Mama recently posted..Monster No More

  2. Jessica
    March 22, 2011 | 4:13 am

    And how do you expect anyone to be able to offer concrit on this? You are hilarious and talented. I loved the light way you went back and forth through this and carried me right to the end and then the ending? My only concrit is that it gave me a bit too much of a visual ;) .
    Jessica recently posted..New Feature- The Hot Seat

  3. tracy
    March 22, 2011 | 4:30 am

    Now what am I doing here? Oh right. Oh my gah! Not what I expected. Loved this. I loved you were so nonchalant and in control of the whole situation. So well done.

  4. Galit Breen
    March 22, 2011 | 5:28 am

    Goodness girl! Talk about an unexpected ending!!

    I stayed with you through every hot moment. And felt just as let down at the end, too. I might not forgive him yet, though? I haven’t decided yet.

    This line: “I wanted to savor the moment, open this fantasy, one button at a time.” was perfection.

  5. Leighann
    March 22, 2011 | 5:31 am

    OMG!! hahahahha
    hilarious!
    I love this post, too bad that after all of that time he ended up being more into himself than you.
    Leighann recently posted..Whats That on your Lip

  6. tulpen
    March 22, 2011 | 5:47 am

    Guys LOVE it when you laugh at their penises!!
    tulpen recently posted..That Deaf And Blind Kid Sure Plays A Mean Pin The Tail On The Donkey

  7. By Word of Mouth Musings
    March 22, 2011 | 6:11 am

    He worked the room like he worked his body …
    awesome job … oh how many of these men have we met in our day lol!
    Great job, you left them hanging – literally :)

  8. Sherri
    March 22, 2011 | 6:44 am

    Oh sweetie, you never fail to deliver! Nothing limp and wobbly here….
    Sherri recently posted..Guest Post- I am Not My Hair

  9. Pamela
    March 22, 2011 | 6:48 am

    One of these days we’re going to get the hot steamy sex! I have to admit, I would have been pissed if Mandy screwed him after that. The laughter was a must after such a sight. Your dialog is perfect and kept me reading. I always want more from you, not in the sense that it should be better, it’s just that damn word limit! xoxox
    Pamela recently posted..Detour to Oz

  10. Lizz
    March 22, 2011 | 7:19 am

    Loved this! Hot and steamy, followed by a very funny punchline.
    My only suggestion would be this line: “Close came after an eternity.” Because of the way it’s on its own, I read it as close as in “not far away” and it confused me. I think changing it to “Closing time” or even just “closing” could remove the potential confusion there.
    But OMG, I loved this piece, and totally pictured Rob as a kid I didn’t like in high school, so the ending especially made me giggle.
    Lizz recently posted..Saturday Seven

  11. Coffeypot
    March 22, 2011 | 7:20 am

    It’s a shame your beauty could match his own self-image. It’s was good you didn’t have mirrors on the ceiling or you would have cowgirled it all night so he could see himself perform. He’s happy with himself and you have soar knees.
    Coffeypot recently posted..Lloyd Oliver- Among Last of Original Code Talkers

  12. Mandy's Kidding
    March 22, 2011 | 8:07 am

    What a closing visual!

    *Laugh*

    Oh, and I’m excited your friend has a blog called “MandyLand.”
    Mandy’s Kidding recently posted..Karma Butt

  13. TheKitchenWitch
    March 22, 2011 | 8:10 am

    Oh my God! I’m cackling over here! How GROSS was that sight? I imagine you laughter shrunk that flaccid rod even further!

  14. TheKitchenWitch
    March 22, 2011 | 8:10 am

    *your*

    lazy fingers!

  15. Angie @ On the rocks and straight up
    March 22, 2011 | 8:34 am

    Ok, so I was totally expecting a Move Over Mary Poppins type ending to this….and you give us flacid penis waggling and a mirror!

    I might actually be dying.

    If this is true? What happened? Did you ditch the guy? Did you marry him? If you forgave him and vice-versa, I’m itching to know how the rest of the relationship developed.

    I love the way you built up towards the ending. The Rules-type game playing with the drinks in the bar, the pretending not to notice each other. Can’t think of anything to criticize here! Absolutely hysterical.
    Angie @ On the rocks and straight up recently posted..My fathers gift

  16. KLZ
    March 22, 2011 | 8:37 am

    I did not see that coming.

    Or…not as it were.
    KLZ recently posted..Set Me Up

  17. Elaine
    March 22, 2011 | 8:46 am

    I admire this person’s (or your?) ability to stay so strong and confident around him. I would have been a mess. Ha!

    Way to surprise us at the end and keep us interested! This was great!!

  18. John
    March 22, 2011 | 8:56 am

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I absolutely love the way you paint a story.
    John recently posted..Im Stylish- Dammit

  19. magnolia
    March 22, 2011 | 9:35 am

    hahahaha – love it, love it, love it! :)
    magnolia recently posted..high school sweethearts

  20. Jack@TheJackB
    March 22, 2011 | 10:16 am

    That would have made a great picture for the net. He would have gone viral. ;)
    Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Profanity and Children

  21. HonestConvoGal
    March 22, 2011 | 10:36 am

    That was hilarious! I just read a really sad post and then picked yours from TRDC at random. Wow, I wasn’t ready for the surprise ending. It was terrific. Great build up. Wonderful use of suspense. You didn’t give your reader any indication of where you were readed. This is humor at it’s best.
    HonestConvoGal recently posted..Bombs and Butterflies

  22. Ashley K.
    March 22, 2011 | 12:01 pm

    So entertaining. You did a great job at building up the story as her fanatasy continued to grow. I loved the line “I wanted to savor the moment, open this fantasy, one button at a time.” Perfect choice of words for the scene. So fun and what an ending! Loved it!
    Ashley K. recently posted..Forgive and Laugh

  23. CDG
    March 22, 2011 | 12:06 pm

    I gots nothing to critique here, beautiful.

    Damn.

    Again with the sexy/funny, funny sex stories. Girl, you have LIVED.

    And oh, the image I have in my head!
    CDG recently posted..He Knows Which Side His Bread Is Buttered On

  24. Jennie B
    March 22, 2011 | 12:59 pm

    This was hilarious. At first, I was surprised that he would mutter “score!” It seemed a bit out of character, that he was cooler than that. But once I got to the end, I realized he totally would have said that. Hee hee.
    Jennie B recently posted..They All Came

  25. Kris
    March 22, 2011 | 2:25 pm

    OMG. Hilarious. You probably never looked at that mirror the same. You captured everything perfectly.
    Kris recently posted..Forgiveness

  26. BLissed-Out Grandma
    March 22, 2011 | 3:55 pm

    This may be your best yet. Nicely done.
    BLissed-Out Grandma recently posted..Deep snow in Minne-snow-ta

  27. The Flying Chalupa
    March 22, 2011 | 4:32 pm

    Oh, Mandy and Rob, I had such high hopes for you! I guess that’s what happens during the peacock mating ritual – admiration of one’s feathers. Great ending.

  28. Kelly K @ Writing with Chaos
    March 22, 2011 | 4:41 pm

    Thanks for the shout out!

    I love how it turned out, and the ending had me roaring.

    The fantasy, one button a time line is my favorite too. Love that imagery.
    Kelly K @ Writing with Chaos recently posted..The Garden

  29. andygirl
    March 22, 2011 | 5:13 pm

    I think this might be my favorite story of the week! first of all, so well told. you described him perfectly. I SO know that guy! and you played him well. but the delicious ending? too delicious for words. too, too good. awesome post!
    andygirl recently posted..I missed her

  30. MamaTrack
    March 22, 2011 | 8:19 pm

    Wow, it was so hot! And then so funny. I loved it. I was racing with them to get home. And then laughing with her.

    I have no concrit whatsoever. I did love physical descriptions–good and bad. They made it so real.

    Also loved the description of the game. Makes me glad those days are past me–but I want to keep reading.

    Awesome.

  31. Mandyland
    March 22, 2011 | 11:29 pm

    I’m STILL giggling over this. Seriously. Or not so seriously.

    The ending was just classic.

    No concrit. Mostly because the last bit had me laughing too hard. ;)

    Homerun.
    Mandyland recently posted..One Last Drink

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